If you see me in my wheelchair

I know there are many people who are great with wheelchair users; but this isn’t meant for them.

If I’m out in my wheelchair and you see me – please don’t talk to the person pushing me and act as if I don’t exist. I have a mind and a perfectly functioning brain and I can answer your questions just as well as the person behind me. Who knows if the question is about me, I may even be the best person to answer.

You can make eye contact – I’m not scary, really.

If you’re standing behind me in a queue or at a concert, please don’t rest on my chair as if it’s some form of public leaning post. I wouldn’t come up to you, a perfect stranger, and lean on your shoulder, so please don’t do it to me.

If your kids think it’s fun to kick my wheels – stop them. If I came up and kicked your car you’d freak, if I kicked the pram with your child in it you’d probably call the police.

If the person pushing me bumps into you or runs over your foot, cut us some slack they’re not the easiest of things to manoeuvre and yes if you do stop suddenly in the middle of the street or shopping aisle then you probably will end up with a bruise; but that’s really not our intention. I know I’m lower to the ground; but I’m not invisible.

If I get out of my chair to sit in a normal seat, please don’t look as if a miracle has just happened, or that I must be faking if my legs do work. There are many reasons for being in a wheelchair.

If I’m on a disabled platform at a concert – don’t glare at me for taking up space and blocking your view – I’m supposed to be here – you’re not.

If you don’t have a disability, don’t park in the disabled spots – it may seem unfair that we get the best spaces; but come on there has to be some benefits to being ill, old or disabled. What’s just a few steps for you can seem like a marathon to us.

Finally if you see me struggling to get through a door, do be kind enough to hold it open. It’s not patronising and while I like to feel independent, there are only so many things I can manage with just two hands.

Pride and dignity can go out the window when you’re ill or disabled; but there are things you can do to make it a little easier.

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Disclaimer

Claire Wade. Studio 17659, PO Box 6945, London, W1A 6US

This site is written by someone who is severely affect with ME and is compiled as a result of personal experience and research of other people with ME and their families. It is intended for information and guidance only. It is not intended to replace medical advice. Readers are strongly urged to consult a professional medical practitioner for a proper diagnosis or assessment before trying any of the treatments or medications outlined. As with all medications, always consult your GP, specialist or pharmacist and tell them about other medications or herbal preparations you are already taking; always read the label and patient information leaflet.

The contributors to this website are not medically trained but all live with or have significant experience of ME. The tips may not be suitable for everyone. No responsibility for loss occasioned to any person acting or refraining from action as a result of any statement in this work can be accepted by the author.

No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means (photocopying, electronic, recording or otherwise), except for personal or non-commercial use without the permission of the author.

Claire Wade has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.